The perverted monk vs the pantythief
by terminatorluvr
Summary: we all know how perverse Miroku is now put Miroku into the mix! Miroku and sango are residing at the Tendou Dojo after getting attacked by Naraku again but Happosai is defeated by Miroku and Sango wont let Shampoo come between Ranma and Akane Sangox Miroku, Shampoox Ranma, Happosaivs Miroku, Shampoo vs Sango, RyogaxUkyo
1. Chapter 1

_**The perverted monk vs. panty thief & the Demon slayer vs. Amazonian**_

**Miroku and Sango were residing at the Tendou Dojo after getting seriously injured in their last battle so they felt it would be rude to reject their hospitality plus they were such nice people. Although Sango had bad wounds and scars with minor miasma inhalation, Miroku was worse off he had sucked in more than the lethal amount of Saimyosho insects of Naraku's and had a terrible fever. **

**Sango sat beside Miroku who was too weak to even rub her butt as he lay in bed which made her more worried but also slightly relieved. Akane looked over at them and said to Ranma "I really feel sorry for her she must be so worried about him" she said quietly to which Ranma nodded he could sense the perverted aura from this guy but he wasn't attempting anything. **

_**Suddenly**_

**Kasumi came in with a glass of water, some tablets and a bowl of honey and oatmeal for Sango. "I thought you might be hungry but he looks to weak at the moment so I only made enough for one" Kasumi apologized humbly "No I'm grateful Ms. Kasumi" Sango said kindly and took the tray and gently roused Miroku. **

"**Miroku….Miroku Kasumi has brought you some painkillers and anti-venom" Sango said kindly to which Miroku opened his eyes gently and smiled at Sango's gentle face. "Why thank you kind lady for your hospitality…I hope you don't think us a bother" Miroku said kindly "oh not at all you need your rest" Kasumi said kindly and went back to the kitchen. **

**Miroku took the painkillers and anti-venom and happily swallowed the cool refreshing water. Afterwards he lay back down to sleep and began to feel slightly better from the tablets but still felt very warm and in pain as the poison surged through is body. **

**Sango ate the oatmeal and honey after letting it cool slightly and gave a small bowlful to Kirara who ate it with joy and purred happily. "This is very good its god to be the first thing I've eaten in days" Sango panted. **

_**Next day**_

**Sango got up and was surprised to not see Miroku in bed opposite her own futon and got dressed quickly to go look for him and Kirara followed obediently after her owner. "Where could he be? Kagome once told me that high fevers can cause vomiting!" she thought worriedly but suddenly stopped in her tracks. There by the pond was Miroku enjoying a gentle breeze although he still looked rather feverish he looked better than yesterday. "Oh Miroku!" she cried out and ran up to him and hugged the monk as if there was no tomorrow. **

"**There there Sango, I'm sorry I made you so worried" Miroku said gently stroking her long brown hair. "How do you feel you still look very feverish!?" Sango said worriedly. "I still feel very feverish but the poison in my body and dropped to only a quarter thanks to the anti-venom Miss Kasumi gave me" Miroku said kindly.**

_**Suddenly**_

"**What a haul, what a haul!" a voice yelled out and Ranma came running interrupting the two from their lovey dovey moment. And in that moment Happosai appeared from the roof of the wall around the Tendou household with a bag full of women's panties.**

"**Why you sick little freak come back here!" Ranma yelled out racing after Happosai and suddenly Happosai clocked the beautiful demon slayers bosom and behind. "Hello beautiful!" he cried leaping towards her "eew get away from me!" Sango cried out slapping the perverse old man.**

**Happosai did not give up and leapt towards her again and Kirara transformed to protect her master but Happosai kept coming. "Sacred Sutra's!" a voice called out and sutra scrolls were thrown at Happosai and then he was hit with a staff and paralyzed. Ranma and Akane clapped with amazement. **

**Miroku grabbed Happosai by the hem of his outfit a black aura surrounding him sending chills and sweat drops down Happosai's body. "Listen here you disgusting perverted old goat..." Miroku began darkly "Sango is my woman touch her and you can say goodbye to life and hello to my wind tunnel got it!" Miroku snarled.**

"**G…got it I'll not touch her" Happosai stammered quietly and Miroku dropped him and the old man ran off as fast as his legs would carry him. "He is so cool" Akane gushed blushing shyly "hey you're supposed to be my Fiancé!" Ranma yelled crossly and Akane stared at him blushing "Sorry Ranma but that was cool" she said pecking his cheek. **

"**Um…Miroku thanks for saving me" Sango said shyly her face bright red from embarrassment. Miroku looked at her shocked then smiled gently and walked over to Sango and hugged her "I would never let another man have my beloved Sango" Miroku said and gently rubbed Sango's butt. **

**Sango slapped Miroku and looked slightly annoyed "geez you letch!" she yelled but fiddled with her hair "though I am grateful you saved me and called me your beloved" Sango mumbled shyly. Akane and Ranma chuckled slightly and went indoors for food "Well he is a pervert but not as bad as the old man" Ranma said "Got that right" Ranma said sighing crossly. **

_**That afternoon**_

"**Nihau Ranma!" a voice called out and Shampoo appeared "S…Shampoo what are you wearing!" Ranma said and even Akane had to agree with him this time. Shampoo had her usual hairstyle but was wearing a short thigh length peach colored Chinese dress with a yellow cat bell design and an open heart shaped chest. She had a black laced garter on her leg and Fishnet tights with Red pumps on her feet. **

"**You no like Shampoo's outfit Ranma?" the Chinese girl whimpered to which Ranma turned red and looked away not wanting to upset Akane. "Well dressed like that he wouldn't have a choice!" Akane bellowed crossly. **

**At that moment Shampoo sighed and put her hands on her hips "You just jealous because Shampoo sexier than you!" Shampoo smirked deviously "Why you snobby little bitch!" Akane said her blood boiling. "Do you mean you do not like Shampoo's new outfit Son-in-law" a voice said from behind them.**

"**Oh great it's the old ghoul now too" Ranma said crossly; how could his day get any worse first Happosai goes on another panty raid and now Shampoo shows up in what could only be described as a teasing date outfit. "Hiraikotsu!" a voice suddenly yelled out and a giant bone boomerang caused Shampoo to leap into the backyard "who dare interfere?" Shampoo yelled crossly. **

"**Sorry but splitting up this couple is wrong and your just using dirty methods!" Sango said appearing in her Demon slayer outfit. "Man Sango you look sexy!" Ranma said in shock to which Akane coughed discretely to let him know she was still in the room. **

**Shampoo frowned crossly and produced her Chui "You no get in Shampoo's way!" Shampoo yelled and lunged forward but was stopped by Cologne. "What the great grandmother what you doing?" Shampoo said crossly and slightly confused. **

"**Be sensible child and back off this once that girl is a trained Demon slayer so she has been fighting her whole life since childhood" Cologne said and with that the two escaped. Akane looked up at Sango and said "man Sango that was badass how did you do all that?"**

"**I've been training since childhood so this comes naturally to me" Sango smiled and picked up Kirara who was winding herself between Sango's legs. "Sorry but I gotta brush Kirara's fur and get changed so I'll be down in a bit ok" Sango said gently and walked upstairs carrying the two tailed feline. **


	2. Chapter 2: Removing obstacles

_**Removing obstacles**_

**Shampoo was sulking in her room wearing her red Chinese outfit and was getting desperate enough to have Mousse around even if he was in his duck form. However Shampoo would stroke and pet his feathers while he would sit still and enjoy himself. Cologne however was growing bored of Shampoo's sulky attitude towards the demon slayer who came between her and Ranma. "Shampoo quit sulking and get to work you'll never be able to get back at them if you keep this attitude up" Cologne raged crossly. "Shampoo no care anymore" Shampoo scowled crossly taking mousse in her arms and petting him which he seemed to enjoy which worried Cologne. **

"**So you'll throw away your chance to grab Ranma and marry this love struck fool" Cologne raged pointing to the white duck in Shampoo's arms. Mousse quacked crossly at these insults and was happy when Shampoo calmed him with gentle soothing words. "Shampoo at least knows that Mousse is willing to support her" Shampoo snapped and Mousse cocked his head in admiration to annoy Cologne. "And if you do not marry Ranma you will bring shame to the village!" Cologne raged making Shampoo shiver with fear. Mousse could tell Shampoo was fighting tears so he began harassing Cologne with quacks until she fled the room and left her granddaughter in peace. "Th…thank you Mousse" Shampoo sniffed and hugged the white duck tightly and Mousse was happy to console her but ashamed that he could not wipe away her tears. **

_**Later**_

**Akane and Ranma are training together in the dojo and also mucking around slightly then Kirara begins growling and transforms into her Sabretooth form. "What's wrong Kirara?" Akane said worriedly and then she spotted Mousse at the end of the garden and got into fighting stance. "Relax Akane Tendou I merely came to talk I swear" Mousse said making a cross over his heart with his fingers as proof so the pair relaxed.**

"**What do you want duck boy?" Ranma said sighing boredly, usually when Mousse came over it was to harass him about staying away from Shampoo and to stay with Akane Tendou. "It's about Shampoo I don't think she actually has the heart to come between you anymore she's merely being manipulated by the old bat" Mousse said solemnly. Ranma's eyes widened in awe, well Mousse's statements did seem to show an explanation to her odd behavior. "Nihau Ranma!" a loud voice yelled out and Shampoo appeared in the garden wearing her red Chinese outfit from earlier but was shocked to see Mousse there as well. It made it difficult for her to put on the act but she clenched her fists and took a deep breath "Why you here you stupid duck Shampoo want be alone with her Airen!" Shampoo said crossly. **

"**Enough Shampoo I know your acting, Mousse already told us everything about the old Ghoul making you act this way" Ranma snapped which made Shampoo go rigid and stop talking. Tears began welling in her eyes but she fought to keep them from spilling over "Shampoo no know what you talking about" Shampoo said bravely but even Ranma could see she was beginning to crack. "Shampoo don't force yourself to love others if somebody else is in your heart" Akane said gently which made Shampoo feel guilty about thinking she was a flat chested gorilla. Mousse walked over to Shampoo and placed his hands on her shoulders solemnly which made Shampoo blush as she was not used to him behaving like this "M…Mousse what you?" Shampoo began but was cut off by his finger pressing against her lips. "Shampoo I have always admired you for many reasons be it your strength, fearlessness or determination but most of all it was because of your beauty and courage" Mousse said gently which caused the tears to spill over like a waterfall. "Oh Mousse! Shampoo sorry, she sorry for all the cruel things she say to you" Shampoo sobbed clinging tightly to Mousse who stroked her hair smiling warmly and even Ranma and Akane thought it was a cute scene. "Aww that's so cute" Sango said sighing dreamily from where she had been perched on a tree branch. She only wished Miroku could be like that with her more often rather than flirting with other women which irritated her a great deal. **

"**I should have known you would crack Shampoo and here I thought you would actually be able to take Ranma for yourself" A cross voice said from the entrance roof. They all turned and saw a very angry looking Cologne glaring at the fearful Shampoo and Mousse who were entwined in an embrace. "Stop now great grandmother this go too far" Shampoo begged fearfully. Cologne looked at her great granddaughter and laughed "I worked too hard to make you who you are today Shampoo as I did with your mother so I'll be damned if I let this go on" Cologne snapped. "Enough talk, HIRAIKOTSU!" Sango yelled throwing the giant bone boomerang at the shriveled up old crone who narrowly dodged it and Sango grabbed her weapon as it returned obediently. "This isn't the end I'll make you marry my Shampoo son-in-law no matter what!" Cologne cackled and disappeared. **

**Ranma took Akane in his arms and held her tightly but she didn't complain she was pleased at the attention if not slightly shy about it. "Akane don't worry I will never choose anybody but you" Ranma said bravely which made Akane blush. "Ranma Shampoo help you against great grandmother, I sick of her tricks now" Shampoo said bravely wiping away the remaining tears bravely. Ranma and Shampoo shook hands in agreement and even Mousse did too as proof of his loyalty. "I guess all we need now is Ryoga and Ukyo" Ranma said thoughtfully rubbing his chin and even Shampoo had to agree that Ukyo was a skilled fighter as well as a chef. "I'll try and talk to Ryoga about it" Akane said bravely as she knew how Ryoga had felt when she rejected his feelings for her. "No I'll do it he'll be at Ucchan's again so I'll be hitting two birds with one stone" Ranma said bravely. **

_**At Okonomiyaki Ucchan's**_

**Ukyo was cooking Ryoga a seafood Okonomiyaki order but she was very upset after learning that Ranma and Akane had truly fallen for each other and confessed their feelings. She would often start crying during work hours while cooking or even while she was in her home after all she had been in love with Ranma since their childhood. As for Ryoga he had been very depressed about Ranma and Akane but he was grateful to Ranma for breaking his curse so he had let Ranma have his happiness with Akane. Ryoga felt pity towards Ukyo she had so considerate and encouraging of his feelings for Akane but now she was droopy and mopey an awful lot of the time and it made him feel guilty. **

"**Hey Ukyo you wanna go somewhere for a week?" Ryoga said casually when his order was ready. Ukyo looked at him in shock as Ryoga never usually asked these sorts of things as he would usually banter on about Akane and Ranma and unfair fate was. "Um ok sure where?" Ukyo said shyly her cheeks turning a slight hue of pink. "A hot springs resort in the mountains just the two of us?" Ryoga said kindly flashing a warm smile that brought out a gentle smile on her face too. **

_**Suddenly**_

"**Ucchan I need a favor" Ranma said suddenly bursting through the doors. Just hearing that childhood nickname made Ukyo's heart feel crushed with pain that he was out of her reach "What can I do for you Ranma?" Ukyo said casually though Ryoga could hear the pain in her voice and how difficult it was for her. "Look make it quick Saotome me and Ukyo were planning to go on a hot springs trip together" Ryoga said crossly to which Ukyo looked at him gratefully for changing the subject. **

"**It's the old ghoul she's trying to force me to marry Shampoo when she's already fallen for Mousse, could you guys help out for old time's sake?" Ranma said pleadingly to which the pair couldn't turn him down. "Ryoga get you gear ready cos after this job we're off on vacation got that" Ukyo said darkly to which Ryoga smirked and nodded. Ranma was so grateful that his childhood friend and Ex-rival were helping him after all the pain that they had been through. Ukyo saw Ranma's sad look and smiled at him warmly like she used to do "Ran-chan just cos I am no longer your fiancé does not mean I no longer care about you or Akane" Ukyo said warmly and kissed his cheek. This did make Ryoga a little mad as he was developing some feeling for Ukyo after the amount of time they had been together after their beloveds had rejected them but it was important for Ukyo to get over Ranma. "Let's kick that old bat's butt to kingdom Kong" Ukyo smirked and Ryoga followed her out the door with Ranma leading the way. **


End file.
